Sometimes conversations with co-workers or clients can be difficult. Difficult conversations usually take the destructive route because many do not know how to control such situations.
Angry conversations, unpleasant confrontations, and grievances can be very difficult. You may feel frustrated and aggressive when you are confronted or ambushed out of nowhere but rule number one is to never give in to that feeling. You may also feel like defending yourself vociferously. Again, don’t give in to your urges.
Follow these steps instead:
Neutralize the Situation
You can neutralize the situation through a two-step process:
- Apologize: This might calm the person down considerably. Say something like “I am sorry you feel …” or “I am sorry you had to go through this” or “I am sorry about the misunderstanding.”
- Engage: After apologizing about the fact that the other person has issues you should engage him to find a solution to the issues. Say that you can work together to set things right.
When you do this, the person will lose some of the anger and frustration.
If you are at Fault, Apologize
Should you accept that you are at fault? Yes, but only if you really are at fault. Don’t apologize because you just want the conversation to end even though you never did anything wrong. Fake apologies will never work. You will end up getting bullied if you accept blame when you did nothing wrong.
Don’t Ever Take Bullying
If someone who is usually friendly with you has confronted you, the above steps will help. However, if someone is constantly trying to put you down, the above steps will not do you any good. Don’t ever give in to this kind of bullying. Take a stand and have a straight conversation. Be very straight forward when dealing with a bully.
Differentiate between bullies and pleasant people and deal with the situation accordingly. Don’t use the bully approach for pleasant people and vice versa.
You will have to face an unpleasant situation at some point of time or the other. The sensible thing to do would be to face it with tact without letting your feelings get the better of you. Also, don’t ever keep up with bullies.